The Wonder Of Love

UPDATE!UPDATE!UPDATE!

MIIEY.BORINKK.HOSPITAL.STAY.[.1.09.10]
heyx.i jus got discharged frm hosp i tink 2 days ago.was admitted thnx my dear mum n karthik!
both so annoying.jus coz miiey stomach was veryyyy pain they say admit.thn ya the stupid doc took so many blood tests la tis n tt tests.my blood tests results r still pending.gotta go bak to kk hosp.on the 15.10
so annoying sia.yup but wen i was in the hosp.miiey sista realli look aft miiey.she was the most awesome sista.evaaa.i lovee her.n griya aso she came on fri n spent the whole day there.veryy sweet.n miiey dear karthik aso came evry sgl dae w/o fail.to c miiey n make mi laugh.hahahaha.he gave me tis purple flower.
miiey mum bought mi a big elmo balloon.raveena n nandhini both aso bought elmo ballons.evry1 was rather
sweettt.love all of them.esp miiey mummy!<3

NW BT THE HAPPIEST DAY EVA!270810:)
miiey dear stupidboi<3 waited for miiey at mrt b4 skl.thn we walk tgt.aft skl we went to eat ice-cream.he paid.u c tts why i kol hym stupidboi.coz he neva lets me pay.haiyoooo.thn we walk walk ard amk.thn walk bak to skl.i spent sme tyme wid hym thn went for cca.he waited for miiey aft cca.thn he sent mi hme.n he seriously made mi feel so happy the whole day.hahahaha he realli does loveee miiey bt i dun love hym in tt way.haishh.or at least i tink i dnt.hmmx.

NW BT GRIYA N MIIEY!
actually i dun realli noe wad to say except tt things r sooo complicated.i dun understand her.aft i was discharged i tot to myself.mus i always get admitted.so tt she will cme to c miiey n spend tyme wid me.n actually show tt she cares.mus i??i realli dnt noe.wad i mean to her.evrytinq seems lyk she loves chan2 bt idk.im jus keepin quiet wen ppl tell mi things.bt deep dwn inside i wonder.i dun dare ask her.coz we'll fight
n she'll tink im suspectin her.bt im nt.i jus wanna noe.i've waited four mths gng be five.n its no point if evrytink is jus lies.rytee??haiz.bt one thing is for sure i realli love her.fuckin much!

MIIEY....
me n zul.were idk.bt definately nt att.we aren't exactly close.bt we sure do keep in touch.im lookin forward to tis friday.hopefully,i'll feel happier n stuff aft mitin n tokin to hym.bt idk.wad if slaps mi?aiyooo so confusin.why mus things always be lyk tis ah!!!haiz k i gtg take medi.update tmr.bye bye.

-bbydoll-

Boy The Love You Give Me Is Wonderful<3
[9:56:00 AM]

VERIII LNG SINCE I BLOGGED=)

MIIEY NEW LYFEEE
its been lng since i blogged n so many things r happenin.so many new ppl.who r makin miiey lyfe lyk cherry blossom<3
i really loveeee it.though the old scars neva do go away.haishhhh yuppie
wait nw bt miiey n zul.they're so many reasons why im still veri close to hym.first of all its coz of the promise i made hys bro n miiey dear darlinkk sista.n ya.bt todae we were fightin.since yst.has usual its coz of hys stupid over protectivenes n jealousness which i hateee sooo much.nw it hurts hym bt he has no idea hw much he used to hurt miiey.haiyo.
nw lets c.miiey dear ex griya.we rarely tok or mit nw days.we aren't even closed.n plus griya has probably moved on i lyfe wid chan2 or idk which gal nw.

N YA MIIEY DEAR CHERRY BLOSSOM LYFE.
its mre lyk onli aft skl.wen im wid miiey bestie or sakthi or hys cousin bro.n ya he asked me stead yst n i said i still nidd tyme.coz its to fast.n i seriously still haven't forgotten.....
bt hys freakin cuteeeee n niceee.he makes me laugh a lot.n he noes miiey rather well for sme1 who jus came into miiey lyfe=)
hahaz.thn there is miiey shinig starr karthik.he is lyk miiey happy pill..makes miiey smile n forget bout things.
n ya MAGGIE!I LOVEEEE HER.she sits beside miiey in cls n she seriously cn look aft miiey.she is caring hyper n niceee.hahaha lolx

N YA HAS USUAL NO ONE LYFE'S CN ACTUALLY BE VERYY PERFECT.
SO BT THE PPL IN MIIEY LYFE TT MAKE IT SUCK.
first of all the biggest backstabber KEERTHIGAH!

Boy The Love You Give Me Is Wonderful<3
[11:29:00 AM]

MIIEY F***IN LYFE!
[ im nt lovin a single min min of it!]

haish its been lng since i last blogged n so much has happened...
i seriously hv no idea where i shld start or end...myb wid the fact tt im confused..its the 1st tyme in miiey lyfe wen im stuck btw 2ppl...GRIYA OR ZUL....why why mus i choose btw them..they're both diff special unique n niceee in their own ways...griya came bak into miiey lyfe aft evrythin..n tts supposed to be gd ryte..
has in yeah im nt sayin its bad bt its jus confusin..those days n nytes i spend cryin n thinkin bt her n jus wantin her by miiey side bt nw its diff..wen she finally asked miiey for stead 3days ago i said YES bt thn the next dae i figured i shldn't hv...has in i onli tot bt myself..wad bt zul..hys dependant on miiey...who s gng to care for hym wen im nt there...whose gng force hym go skl..no one..n if im wid griya i cnt be wid hym supportin n helpin hym evryday..i didn't exactly tell her the truth why i needed tyme..has in yeah i love her mre thn anythin in miiey lyfe..bt i cnt jus leave zul lyk tt...yup im nt att to hym bt those days wen she wasn't ard he fetched me frm skl had lunch sent miiey hme..bot me things...he made miiey smile...n i neva felt happier bt the thing is miiey n griya we were att for a yr n a mth plus...memories still linger in my mind...she is the reason i am wad i am...bt at the same tyme i cnt say yes whole heartedly to her..why..probably i shld take things a step at a tyme...bt im scared to lose her..n zul im scared griya thinks me bein close wid hym is gng make miiey love hym...n myb coz of tt she'll fade away..I DUN WANNA LOSE HYM OR HER..ESP HER!!!i wanna tok to her n tell her hw i feel..if onli she understood hw much i realli love her..n wanna be wid her bt at the same tyme help zul...if onli she understands....i wish i had her..idk eachdae in miiey lyfe is mre n mre confusin..ppl keep cmein in to miiey lyfe...n leavin jus lyk tt....i wish i had sme1 who wld jus show mi n help miiey realiise wad i realli nid in lyfe...if onli i had tt special sme1 miiey lyfe wld be so much easier.....haiz griya,bby where r euu wen i nid eu so badly.......

Boy The Love You Give Me Is Wonderful<3
[6:30:00 PM]

ZUL N MIIEY...

things are gettin onli mre complicatin siahl...he sorta loves miiey bt idk...ya i hv forgiven hym lng lng tyme ago bt cnt he give me tyme to get adjusted to miiey new lyfe...cnt we jus be frens...yup i noe hys willing to change or probably has aldy changed bt I JUS NEED TYME cause i still love griya...n i seriously dunno why evry1 is askin miiey why im stupid why i cnt mve on bt i dunno...n zul its hard to trust hym all over again..i dnt wanna keep gng htrough hurt n pain n hurt pain..tt sucks euu noe...bt anw yst b4 gng for the play i met hym at wlds lol..I MISSED HYM MANX..hehe=)thn we bought drink thn walk ard thn jus slack ah bt yeah he hold miiey hand.......i was lyk kinda shocked surprised n i jus looked at hym...he smiled bt i didn't noe wad to say or do..haish n as usual hys still so farkin overprotective of miiey....rossa saw miiey thn she purposely bang into miiey n push my hand..lol i jus smiled n laughed thn he stared at her..lyk wth ahs..thn i was lyk oi she's my fren la..thn he smiled at her n said srry..i jus laughed so cute sia...hahaz...he made miiey smile he made miiey happy bt im still nt sayin yes...i need tyme..

MIIEY N GRIYA

haish still nt tokin its been days n i miss her..i cn tell ppl i've forgotten her i dun love her bt ITS FARKIN NT TRUE..the sec im left all alone i miss her..i close my eyes n all the memories we shared tgt plays in my head..i was tokin to miiey mum tellin my mum n askin her why she thinks griya loves chan n nt miiey..my mum said sme ppl jus aren't meant to be...bt its nt true ME N GRIYA..we were meant for at each bt probably at one tyme..probably things chanes its been 4mths...im confused i wanna wait bt i shldn't rite..i dunno im confused...why wldn't she call at all..last tyme it wa diff even wen we fought she'll call she'd care bout miiey bt nt anymre...n tt hurts..COZ I CNT LIVE WO HER...n why doesn't she understand tt instead of always tryin to make miiey hate her...coz its nt workin at all..she burned her hand...i dnt understand why she's hurtin herself..i hate to see her lyk tt...haish i seroiusly am confused..

KARTHIK=)

i miss hym lyk a lot a lot..last nyte i was to tired to tok to hym wen he koled..haish i feel bad coz he said he was gng to drink..i jus said ah ah kae..thn he said i gtg tc bye i'll msg eu once im hme..i wonder wads wrong wid hym n if hys oki..hys the onli person who noes miiey damn well bt nt better thn griya..lol ya in skl he noes wen im said or happy or wen im jus havin moodswings..lol ya evry1 in skl thintgs were lyk TGT TGT..no no no its kinda annoying bt yeah..he still lovess miiey n i dun want hym to..has in he n griya r the same they noe miiey so well so why still love miiey im nth close to perfect..haish i open he opens hys eyes n finds a damn nice gal out there...

NW BT TODAY

the day didn't start of well..infact it sucked lyk a lot..i woke up had fever n soar throat i cnt swallow anythin bt nw its betta i've been takin strepsils..hehe=)thn ya miiey dad's cousin is cmeiin dwn wid hys family so i had to help miiey mum cook n clean the hse...thn i had bad headache..still havin my body is aching..aiyooo my mum says its coz of yst bt i went blur..lyk huh why wad i do yst...thn she say idk u ask urself ah...thn i jus walk away feelin so blurred..aiyooooo..thn ya next wk kellock havin funfair tot of gng hopefully griya wld go..thn zul msg miiey n say syg next wk pls make urself free we go out kae on sat...thn i replied said i hv plans srry thn as usual he gt angry n ask wid who where why...thn i reply thn he said SO NW UR FRENS R MRE IMP THN MIIEY LA FINE JUS FORGET MIIEY DNT BOTHER CNTC ME..thn i was lyk feelin damn farked up wonderin why he always does tis to miiey..i jus replid fine i'll ask my dad thn tell u...thn we started fightin thn in the end he said he didn't wanna waste hys pp8 fightin wid me he asked me to make a choice btw hym n my frns n tell hym..i was lyk wth...NW I JUS hv to tink of smt to lie to hym abt..aiyoooo n nw i gtg take medi n rest....byeeezz

Boy The Love You Give Me Is Wonderful<3
[3:02:00 PM]

BLOGGIEEEE=)
haish im realli veri tired jus came hme n dnt realli hv mood to blog bt yeah jus sme
quick updatez...ME N GRIYA no mre talkin coz of wad hppn yst we were kinda lyk arguing on msn coz yst miiey sis came over n yup we were tokin n stuff thn b4 leavin she told miiey to stp waitin for griya coz she's att to chan2 she said she was nt sure bt tts wad ppl r sayin..noein miiey lyk duh i wnt blive tt coz i love griya wad...so yeah i decided to ask griya myself n i did i asked her she said yes coz she's sick of tellin miiey she's nt..BUT LYK HELLO IM NT EVEN ANGRY OR ANYTHIN N SHE LYK TT..WTF LA...n yup i gt fed up n i said i neva cared who she was att to but i didn't mean it lorh..stupid stupid miiey..i shld hv tot griya is sensitive n she will take wadeva i say to heart n tts wen all the arguements begin..i wasn't tt pissed at all i swear bt all she had to say was FORGET MIIEY FORGET GRIYA FORGET OUR LOVE FORGET I'LL EVA PATCH BAK WID EU...n thn was wen i cldn't control miiey tears..they jus came streaming dwn non stop till late at nyte i cldn't eat..i CLDN'T BLIVE SHE SAID TT..i loved her u noe a lot n hw cld she say i neva cared..IDK LARH ANW ENUF BT HER...nw bt today i came to skl realli farked up n moody thn karthik was siting at the swing he asked me sit so i sat la thn he looked at miiey n said ur nt urself why wad hppn neva sleep last nyte ah..i tried to lie bt i suck at it i told hym it was my fault th he asked me wad wld eva cheer me up n i said griya lol lol n yeah i started laughin..thn skl started lyk omg so borinkk la bt had gg quite fun bt veri slack....n belle my new syg..she made miiey smile aft guides we slacked ryte thn we ran here n there n laughed n tried to forget bt evrythn else...haish we did bt wen were all alone i cry she cry's...i pity her..BT WE BOTH SAID THE SAME THING WHICH IS LOVE SUCKS..hahaz yup tts true..

Boy The Love You Give Me Is Wonderful<3
[8:21:00 PM]

miiey lyfe!!!!
argh wth la tt stupid idiot griya she dnt love mi y cnt she jus say it!does she noe wad the fark im gng through!i cnt sleep at all my mind has so many things n griya makes my lyfe idk wad the fark she wants frm miiey n y she keeps doin tis over n over again doesn't she realise the pain n hurt!she say she love mi bt she doesn't bother bt miiey she wnt call msg or anythin tts damn annoying she barely even has tyme for mi n she alqays says she is here for mi she is nt la!im lyk a toy to her ryte..im sick of tis la k...sick of her bullshit the thing is i love her!i cnt let her go!i dun want to...bt i dun wanna cry anymre i wanna smile i wanna mve on bt i cnt coz im so dependant on her!i hate chantelle...N GRIYA I DUN UNDERSTAND y the fark u said tt u LOVE ME!wad it to hurt miiey?!i dk wad she wants frm miiey...life n livr hurts the truth hurts..so much if pain will it all end?!

Boy The Love You Give Me Is Wonderful<3
[9:35:00 PM]

its bloody farkin annoyin wen u tell 1person smt n the person goes n tells some1 else...
tts wen the trust is broken tts wen u get confused n stuck in the samn god damn it situation as mine...
who do eu trust haish..why is it the ones closest to miiey r the ones tt hurt miiey the most...idk wad to do anymre..nw wen i wanna cry or i jus want some1 to tok to i dun even noe who to kol anymre it always used to be anu or reena or bhuva thn wen i was att to griya she was the 1st person i'd kol...bt nw she's the last one i'll kol anu n bhuva aso..n reena idk yet..i wonder if she's aso gng be the same break the trust break my heart mess my life n walk away..is tt why god created frens...so tt they're onli there for a little while play wid ur feelings hurt u n walk out of ur lyfe...HAISH...i tellbhuva smt she tells griya i tell anu smt she cnfm tell griya i tell raveena smt she'll in directly hint to griya i mit or do anythin wid zul griya will find out..LYK HELLO WHERE IS THE PRIVACY ZONE IN MY LIFE..CNT ANY1 KEEP SECRETTS ANYMRE..thn karthik hys sooo busy nwdays scared to disturb hym bt for nw he n miiey sista r the onli ones who noe wad the fark is gng on my life n they nw wad im gng through..haish past few days cassey is zombiefied i dun tink i've had a proper meal since yst n i feel weak sick hurt upset mood out..idk wad mre i tot tokin to griya might cheer me up bt no it didn't wanted to tok or mit zul but he to had no tyme...karthik to..haish onli one tt made miiey smile today was belle..i love her manxz....hahaz tired of bloggin gtg byeezz

Boy The Love You Give Me Is Wonderful<3
[7:15:00 PM]

heyx bloggie its 11.40 n im
supposed to be asleep bt yeah i cnt nt sleepy yet so decided to update my blog..hahaz ya tdy was borin n it sucked bt i loved it jus nw wen i sat in the balcony lookin at the sky n thinkin bt griya miiey lyfe n the love we HAD...evrythin jus goes so fast nth actually stays in lyfe.haiz i miss her a lot its been at least 3mths hw lng mre is tis all jus one of my fantasy's..she loves chan2!!nt miiey bt i dnt seem to accept tt!haish wth anw its enuf bt her for nw!!no mre tears...haiz yeah raveena mus be happy nurul's tokin to her again oh n thn there's miiey ERYANA SYG who is att to a guy frm yck im
damn happy for her she decided to mve on n forget bt mirza tts gd:)!!hahax thn my darlinkk sista dora..she's in love..tts gd so u see evry1's lyfe is gettin better..mine wld to someday hopefully soon ayte..lol i gtg lookin forward to tmr gng watch eclipse wid donovan eryana n her younger bro..hoefully cn mit dora or griya!!!haiz yupp gd ntyeee...

Boy The Love You Give Me Is Wonderful<3
[11:49:00 PM]

GRIYA!!

haish i gt nothin left to say la...i realli dun understand her anymre if she realli love miiey she wldn't do tis to miiey..even my sista says its obvious she used zul as an excuse..has in lyk she herself noes tt zul is att so why

wld i lyk patch bak wid hym n she noes tt i dun love hym...so??isn't it obvious..n u noe wad i always knew tt she n chan2 wld patch bak..i dun wanna care anymre...she say she hopes im happy...bt u noe wad i neva knew her idea of miiey bein happy is to make miiey cry day n nite for her..i gt nth left to say n ya.griya if ur readin miiey blog let me jus tell u tis..I LOVED U N I STILL LOVE U I CN WAIT FOR EU BT I DUN WANT TO ANYMRE COZ I SERIOUSLY DK WAD THE HELL EU WANT FROM MIIEY U SAY U LOVE MIIEY ON 1DAY THE NEXT EU SAY U DNT..EU HURT ME THN EU TINK U DID..ALL THE BEST IN LIFE LA KAE N PLS DUN EVA TELL MIIEY U LOVE MIIEY IF UR GNG LEAVE MIIEY JUS LYK TT....

NW ZUL

haish he aso another one he didn't go hme last nite thn hys bro was lyk msgin miiey askin miiey call zul..bt i had no mood..i bet he was in nadrah hse..lol he has moved on noe i tink hys gng ask a gal for stead coz he askin miiey wad do eu tink gal's lyk n wad shld i buy..hahaz damn cute..ya.he hurt miiey once n we loved each other truly at one stage bt im 13 hys 17..we've gt a long way to go..myb we r jus meant to be frens n nt mre bt im find wid tt...hys a nice guy he jus needs to learn to treat a gal properly im sure he'll find the right gal someday...i may nt love hym bt i still onli want the best for hym....i dun wanna hate hym anymre..there is no point...ZUL SAYANG I HOPE EU FIND THE RYTE ONE N U DO WELL IN LYFE...

ABT MIIEY NEW LYFE WO HER OR HYM:)

yeah im sure eu noe by nw tt im nt oki n tt miiey life is a mess all over again...bt wad cn i do..LIFE'S A BYTCH..jus gotta accept changes n move on..ppl come n go in lyfe some ppl stay in ur heart foreva i'll neva forget griya..she changed miiey she made miiey realise wad love is...she was there for miiey n u noe wad she'll always remain in miiey heart..i still love her bt myb were jus nt meant to be..it hurts a lot wen evrytyme i close miiey eyes n our memories keep playing in my head..wen i listen to the radio n evry sng reminds me of her,,wen i read miiey msg..IT HURTS COZ I LOVE HER..bt idk hw long am i gng cry i gotta move on n be strong..coz i noe she is happy wid chan2..haiz last nyte i cldn't sleep the last things she typed in her damn blog was in my head...i always wondered n still wonder wad is so much better bt CHAN2..wad did she do tt she deserves griya...why her n nt miiey...i was hurt i cried n cried until i felt asleep i msged karthik n he didn't reply thn i woke up in the mornin n started cryin again...its so hard to be wo the one eu truly love..evry1 is askin miiey to mve on bt sommetymes i try so hard until i jus give up..why mus lyfe be unfair....haish....

EMO PRINCESS HATES THE WORD LOVE!!

Boy The Love You Give Me Is Wonderful<3
[1:54:00 PM]

y am i always confused...todae i was msgin zul's bro hys name is daniel bt i usually call hym abg...

he was askin miiey if i love zul coz if i do thn zul will ask mi for patch bt if i dun thn zul is jus probably

gng forget miiey n move on...has in i shld noe wad 2 reply ryte..jus a no lyk duh...but i didn't say no

i replied hym sayin why..n there is no point hym patchin bak wid me...idk why the fark i did tt its lyk as

if im tryin to tell zul's bro i love zul but actually i dnt...i was jus farkin confused..thn ya i had girl guides

2dae damn tiring n ya i hated it bt b4 guides i was tokin to griya otp..she said she loved miiey..i kept

quiet at first i jus didn't noe wad to say..i tot she didn't love miiey...wth la...bt i cn lie to evry1 except her

so i jus said ily..thn i went blank idk why...WHY IS 2DAE SO CONFUSIN...oh yeah last nite karthik called n told miiey he loved mi...aiyo la..im confused why is evry1 startin to cme into my lyfe nw..tis sucks

lyk a lot...thn tt tyme i gave my no to tis mat guy called ashraf aft so long today he msged miiey i hope tt he

wnt lyk fall in love wid me or smt..tt will jus make my life a bigger mess n i'll be mre confused..n ya did i forget to tell eu tmr is the 3rd..mine n griya's supposed to be anniversary...idk bt im countin dwn..i onli want 1wish n i want tt wish to cme true..i want me n griya to be tgt again jus lyk hw it used to be bt i noe its jus one of my another fantasy's...im confused does griya love miiey or nt..cause i noe i do n i noe i'll wait for her..

but its lyk they're so many things in the way..its lyk she probably is gng end up wid chan n forget miiey..idk sia.....haish bby i need miiey prince i want u so badly....

Boy The Love You Give Me Is Wonderful<3
[10:41:00 PM]